Monday, March 13, 2017

Birthday Party Epiphany

So I hate kids birthday parties. That thing where the parents invite every kid in class to a party that costs an absurd amount of money? Yeah fuck that. I cannot stand it. I rarely send my kids. I never host. But every once in a while a kid who is actually a friend of one my kids will have such a party and we attend, because if there is one thing our cross-country move has taught me it's the value of true friendship. So when it's someone we care about or a friend from class that my kid talks about all the time I'll at least try to make the effort. Yesterday was one such instance. This party was for a 6YO who my daughter has gone to school with since daycare days, played sports with, etc. Plus her mom is cool so I can hang at the party with her. All good, right? Yeah sure.

The party was at the local roller skating rink, which is every bit as old school and run down as you'd expect. It was my and my daughters first time there so I didn't don any bitchin' skates and opted to just help her. After a few turns with a PVC pipe walker she was off and rolling without me. This particular party was full of moms, and even some dads, that I'm well acquainted with so I thought I'd have a nice time. What I didn't account for however is that for whatever reason, I still don't fit in with these people. I had some nice chats, caught up with a few people I haven't seen in a while, but my conversations were short and basic. I found myself standing alone, wishing I had even an ounce of interest in roller skating so I'd have something to do. Not only was on the fringes, I felt purposely pushed to the side. Even though I have 2 older kids, I'm still always the youngest mom out there. And older moms really hate the young mom. They don't want to talk to me, and quite frankly they don't want their kids to be friends with mine. I watched as my daughter struggled to be included, constantly trying to stay relevant and accepted. As it turns out my daughter and I are a lot more alike than I thought. I remember the days of trying hard to fit in, doing whatever it took to make people like me. I'm glad I don't care now, and standing there alone at the roller rink surrounded by stuck up moms 10 years older than me really made me realize just how much of a gift it is that they don't want to talk to me. I don't want to be back in high school, pretending to be someone I'm not, hoping to get invited to the next party, talking shit about the other women because I'm insecure and vapid. I realized in that moment that the relative silence was peaceful. Being able to watch my daughter make her way around the rink without me, and fall down and pick herself right back up, was way better than having mindless conversations with someone who couldn't care less about what I had to say. Yesterday I learned that I'm ok, and my daughter will be ok, even if we aren't surrounded by people dying to get to know us. Besides, few people can handle the amount of straight sass and badass-ery the two of us exude.

Friday, March 3, 2017

You Don't Have to Talk to Me

I'm big on supporting small local businesses. I almost always buy birthday presents at the toy store in town. I frequent the farmer's market as much as I can in the summer. But my favorite place is the local wine store with the farm to table restaurant in the back. The food is yummy, the selection is fantastic, and the owner's kids play baseball with mine. It's the perfect small town store. I ran in there today to fill up a growler with the best cider I've ever had (for real, if you've never had Blue Bee cider you are missing out. I'm actually just waiting til it's a decent hour to pour myself a glass), and grab some of my favorite wine that is also sold there. I decided to go ahead and get 6 bottles because a) there is a discount and b) my husband also loves it which is why I had to buy more in the 1st place. The place smelled amazing when I walked in so I decided to sit down and have a little lunch. I'm minding my own business, with my growler and wine on the table. This guy walks in, and from the second he gets through the door I can tell that he is looking at me through his sunglasses. I'm certain I don't know him, so I go back to eating my food. He says to me "wow, you're gonna drink all that by yourself?" I look at the growler and with my 'what the fuck" face on respond with "not right now?" He says "no the wine, that's an awful lot of wine". Me again, this time with an even more pronounced 'what the fuck' face "what? I'm bringing that home..." and then he stood there and stared at me and I went back to eating my lunch and playing on my phone. That was not the response he was looking for I guess so he said "well you don't have to be rude". Ha! Oh but I do! So, without even looking up at him I said "you also don't have to talk to me". And then I enjoyed the rest of my lunch as he stammered off. When he passed back by me a few minutes later he had purchased AN ENTIRE CASE OF WINE. Probably to drink all by himself in one sitting. Dick.