Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Time Marches On

So Facebook shows you memories now of what you've done on this date in past years; I'm sure you've seen them. Today it showed me that 5 years ago I announced to the world (well, Facebook world anyway) that I was expecting baby number 3. I was struck with a multitude of emotions; nostalgia, happiness, sadness, and even loss. What I realized is that it's been 5 years since I saw 2 little pink lines, 5 years since the last time I would ever see those lines. Most days I'm happy that we are done having children. 3 is a lot to handle. Our family feels complete and all of my kids sleep through the night. But sometimes, on days like today, I'm sad that I'll never do it again. No pink lines, no morning sickness, no anticipation. No midnight wake up calls or poopie diapers or spit up covered clothes. No more breastfeeding and 1st steps and hearing "mama" for the first time. No, my kids aren't babies anymore. Big kids are amazing too and I love who mine are becoming, and most days I'm happy that I don't have to dress them or feed them. I get to have real conversations with them and they help me do their laundry. But for tonight I'm going to look at old pictures on Facebook and definitely not cry.